Speed Racer, Girl Chaser
The best way to start this is with some background.
I attended Abilene Christian University from 2000-2004, and in the fall of my sophomore year, I pledged one of the school's local fraternities. (ACU calls them social clubs, since they're not part of a national system and they require a good deal more willingness to wear satin and harmonize, which is a whole other thing to unpack, but whatever.) I was a member of Gamma Sigma Phi, and choosing that club was one of the best choices I made at school.
Our rival club was called Galaxy, because why not. We were the two biggest men's clubs on campus, and each passed down their dislike of the other guys every year to the new pledge class. I pledged in the fall of 2001, and there happened to be at that time a large number of douchebags who were one or two years older, both in my club — a tall, slope-faced asshat named Cade Thompson — and in Galaxy. One of the elder members of Galaxy who was known for giving their pledges and ours a particularly hard time was a guy named Ted Misledine. There are all manner of stories of him harassing guys and being generally dickish; a guy in my pledge class who would go on to become club secretary made jokes about Ted in a few of our weekly newsletters, and was subsequently told through a mutual acquaintance to "watch his back." But as much grief as he gave GSP and our pledges, he was much worse to the incoming Galaxy guys.
So that's Ted.
Every fall, each club has a party called a grub; it's a costumed and catered affair centered around a theme chosen by the pledges, who are also responsible for planning the event and providing the entertainment. (For reasons I could go into but don't have the space for, the guys' grubs tended to have better acts.) A guy my age named Austin Lawrence who was pledging Galaxy had had enough of Ted's all-purpose douchery and decided to write a song called, simply, "Ted Misledine" and perform it at their grub. It's a funny, sweet-sounding little song that talks about hitting him in the crotch with a baseball bat and accuses Ted of cruising for underage girls and cross-dressing. It's basically what you'd expect a 19-year-old to write, and it's great.
Sometime before or after the grub, Austin recorded the song in his dorm room and put the mp3 on his shared folder, and I grabbed it and have had the pleasure of listening to it ever since. I can't quite remember who's doing back-up vocals; my gut says Chad Huston, but I'm prepared to be totally wrong and would welcome correction from any Wildcats who know better. Also, I should confess I never met Ted, or at least I don't think I did. (I'm not even sure I'm spelling his surname correctly.) If I met him now, he'd just be some guy about my age, but because of what he put my friends through, his legend has grown until he's become a mythic name connected with memories I forgot I ever made.
For your listening pleasure, I tossed a few random photos of Abilene together and set it to the song and put it on YouTube. But really, the cheap visuals are just a placeholder. Enjoy the song, and for those who knew the singer or the subject, pass it along:
Comments: 13
A couple other "tedbits," if you will...
1) Didn't he force Austin to cut his long locks during pledging, thus spurning the everlasting hatred?
2) I remember the LTD boys (another blog post waiting to happen) letting the air out of the tires of the Galaxy pledging bus, which sat in a vacant lot adjacent to Missledine's house. It was kind of his prized possession, and when he found it in that condition in the middle of the night, he brought another cohort over to the only GSP house he knew of in a 2-mile radius - the Plantation. In a drunken rage he and his buddy proceeded to curse out Gibson, Connor Parker and a host of innocents who had no knowledge whatsoever of the infraction.
Ted and I pledged together. Freshman year, Ted had a convertible Camaro (how do you think he got the nickname SpeedRacer?). He would peel out doing U-turns over and over up and down Judge Ely. From the Sonic volleyball court, we could always hear him coming because of his stereo blasting and his Flowmasters rumbling. I've never taken a bath in awesomeness, but I imagine that must be what it's like to be Ted.
oh man wonder where that guy is now??
I've never heard of this guy before in my life, but I say get Austin and Chad some studio time and turn this demo into a hit radio single. They could be the next Fountains of Wayne.
Another ACU classic, "Jesus said, 'No.'" Gooood stuff.
Yes, Ted made Austin cut his hair the night everyone accepted bids. (Seriously why do I remember all these things?) Also, I'm pretty sure Ted tried to fight Austin at club our junior year because someone convinced Austin to sing the song after devo and Ted found out. Good times.
I've got this song on my ipod and love it more every time I hear it.
Bless you Dan! Bless you!
That guy was a douche and a legend. I only have vague memories of stories. Aubs, did he live on Westheimer? Was there some story about him sitting on top of a bus and shooting people with a beebee gun?
Yes he lived on Westheimer. I don't remember that beebee gun story, but it sounds possible. Didn't he shoot the University Church van when he was drunk one night? I feel like that happened.
Who knew that one little tweet reference to Missledine would lead to all of this? These are the moments memories are made of. Thanks for the memories, Ted.
I recall some nice fliers well placed on ACU campus advertising a party at Ted's house on April 1. I do hope some people showed up.
It is Chad doing the back-up vocals. Just wanted to confirm that your gut was right.
May 7, 2009 7:07 AM