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Dan Carlson
Houston, Texas

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of certain TV shows — for starters, "The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "The Zeppo," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April Is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day," "An Echolls Family Christmas," "Look Who's Stalking," "The Garage Door," "Charlie Gets Crippled," "Wind Sprints," and "Corner Boys" — you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings, or at any rate a heartfelt attempt to interpret them. I guess I was made to be a film critic.

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February 4, 2009

Or At Least Two Shirts On The Same Hanger: An Online Transcript

By Dan Carlson

me: i watched Milk last night
Sis: ooh, how was it?
me: good
it's tough to watch a hyped movie in awards season, especially when peter travers' masturbatory blurbs are everywhere
e.g. "i would murder my firstborn if he didn't love this movie"
but it's good
Sis: haha
me: it's tough b/c it's stuck between biopic and character study. they try to cover so many years that some of the action is a little blurry and disconnected, but the final year is pretty grounded
and also, less gay than Brokeback
Sis: less gay?!
;)
me: you see dudes kissing, and resting in bed, and even kind of fooling around, but no one ever really takes anyone from behind
and dammit i want to see dudes getting it on
Sis: hahahaha
i just burst out laughing at that
me: "i didn't come here for this impressionistic shit! LET'S SEE SOME ACTION"
Sis: hehe

Comments: 2

Anna von Beaverplatz

Are.... are you my mother? Or are we the same person? Because this sounds pretty much exactly like something I would say...

Feb 4, 2009 7:51 PM

Jeremy Feist

AVB: Perhaps you and Prisco are the same person. Like United States of Tara, except, you know, real.

And while there is no doggy-style sexing in Milk, there IS a gay porn star cameo. I'm really not sure why there is one, considering that this is a serious movie, but there is. $10 to whoever can find it first!

Feb 5, 2009 9:42 AM

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"The critic is the only independent source of information. The rest is advertising."
— Pauline Kael

"Film lovers are sick people."
— Francois Truffaut

"I hope I strike a blow for chubby bald men everywhere. I hope they rise like an army."
— Paul Giamatti, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 12/14/04

"Let others praise ancient times, I am glad I was born in these."
— Ovid

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Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.
— Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
— John Stuart Mill

We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our life we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget.
— G.K. Chesterton

We were, for the briefest of moments, something greater than the sum of our uncertain parts; we were youth itself, in all its painful glory and sharp joy.
— Me, Fall 2003

There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable, when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there's a time when things can go either way.
— Stephen King

Los Angeles, give me some of you! Los Angeles come to me the way I came to you, my feet over your streets, you pretty town I loved you so much, you sad flower in the sand, you pretty town.
— Ask the Dust, John Fante