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Dan Carlson
Houston, Texas

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of certain TV shows — for starters, "The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "The Zeppo," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April Is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day," "An Echolls Family Christmas," "Look Who's Stalking," "The Garage Door," "Charlie Gets Crippled," "Wind Sprints," and "Corner Boys" — you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings, or at any rate a heartfelt attempt to interpret them. I guess I was made to be a film critic.

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« In Which I Try To Help A Friend See The Error Of Her Ways: An Online Transcript |Main| Music Video Of The Week — 14 »

April 10, 2008

Cue The Berlin For The Last Time: An Online Transcript

By Dan Carlson

Sis: layoffs at work? that sucks
me: yep
we lost several, including GTHM
Sis: oh wow
that sucks for them
me: but GTHM
her bringing me my xeroxes of the day's dummies was always among the 3 best parts of EVERY DAY
Sis: who will you pine for now?
me: I HAVE NO IDEA
Sis: sad times
me: oh GTHM
let me comfort thee
Sis: well, how is everything else going?
me: i'm also struggling against the cold and mighty wind of despair that's sweeping through my heart and leaving me a lost and wandering man now that GTHM and i are no more to be together
Sis: wow
she's engaged
me: no man's cheap metal can purchase the heart of the woman for whom i have so long striven
Sis: haha
touche
me: for on the day that i consign my love to the abyss like some fairweather maiden — on that day, i shall no more be a man than the lad who has yet to know the touch of a woman as such as GTHM
[gets shakespearean in his delirium]
Sis: hehe
me: FIE UPON THEE, WINDS OF FATE THAT HAVE SWEPT UP MY LOVE SO

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Random Quotes

Words of Wisdom

"The critic is the only independent source of information. The rest is advertising."
— Pauline Kael

"Film lovers are sick people."
— Francois Truffaut

"I hope I strike a blow for chubby bald men everywhere. I hope they rise like an army."
Paul Giamatti, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 12/14/04

"Let others praise ancient times, I am glad I was born in these."
— Ovid

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Things to Know

Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.
— Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
— John Stuart Mill

We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our life we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget.
— G.K. Chesterton

We were, for the briefest of moments, something greater than the sum of our uncertain parts; we were youth itself, in all its painful glory and sharp joy.
— Me, Fall 2003

There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable, when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there's a time when things can go either way.
— Stephen King

Los Angeles, give me some of you! Los Angeles come to me the way I came to you, my feet over your streets, you pretty town I loved you so much, you sad flower in the sand, you pretty town.
Ask the Dust, John Fante