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Dan Carlson
Los Angeles, California

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. I try not to think too hard about how I want to build my life around talking about other people's creations and not mine. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of a few TV shows ("The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "The Zeppo," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day," "An Echolls Family Christmas," and "Look Who's Stalking," for starters), you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings. I guess I was made to be a film critic.

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February 28, 2008

The Only Thing I Took Away From The Meeting This Morning With The New Corporate Guy

By Dan Carlson

I think he said "rocket scientry." And I think he said it twice.

Comments: 2

Rachael

Maybe he confused the adjective and noun in that sentence and believed that science actually modifies the word rocket, therefore inventing the word "scientry."

Or, maybe he had just seen Rocket Science, and was bemoaning the fact that love is indeed like rocket science.

Or maybe he's fucking stupid.

Mar 1, 2008 5:33 AM

Iris

Ooo! Reminds me of the big Tony Robbins-lookin' mofo that used to be the regional manager of a certain giant candy manufacturer that I worked for many years ago that would add -ize to everything to make it a verb, like he was some 7-foot honky Snoop Dogg. Putting the product on a wooden pallet was "palletizing," selling the customer to a display by explaining its 'features and benefts' was "incentivizing," etc. Those are the only two that I can remember any more but GAWD that guy drove us all nuts.

I guess it ain't no golldamn rocket scientry.

Mar 3, 2008 12:29 PM

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"The critic is the only independent source of information. The rest is advertising."
— Pauline Kael

"Film lovers are sick people."
— Francois Truffaut

"I hope I strike a blow for chubby bald men everywhere. I hope they rise like an army."
— Paul Giamatti, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 12/14/04

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Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.
— Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
— John Stuart Mill

We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our life we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget.
— G.K. Chesterton

We were, for the briefest of moments, something greater than the sum of our uncertain parts; we were youth itself, in all its painful glory and sharp joy.
— Me, Fall 2003

There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable, when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there's a time when things can go either way.
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— Ask the Dust, John Fante