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Dan Carlson
Los Angeles, California

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. I try not to think too hard about how I want to build my life around talking about other people's creations and not mine. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of a few TV shows ("The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "The Zeppo," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day," "An Echolls Family Christmas," and "Look Who's Stalking," for starters), you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings. I guess I was made to be a film critic.

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February 22, 2008

10 Truths

By Dan Carlson

1. Sometimes I pretend to like movies or books that I don't actually like that much just to get along with people. I figure, I know I'm right, so why start trouble.

2. If someone asked me to be in their barbershop group, I would probably say yes.

3. I don't have that much food in the house. I mostly live on sandwiches.

4. No matter where I go or what I do, or how my musical tastes temper themselves over the years, I'm pretty much always gonna like George Strait.

5. Sometimes I say I've seen a movie that I haven't just to fit into the conversation.

6. I quietly judge people based on what they say or do, and if I write someone off as the kind of former-jock-future-CPA character I can't seem to erase from my mind's central casting department, I will usually feel superior as long as I know them. It doesn't happen often, but when it does only large-scale revelations can reverse this. I know it's not good, but at the same time, I don't quite mind doing it.

7. I don't like wine. I feel this is one of those obstacles to adulthood I will never overcome: Eventually, everyone starts drinking wine and eating hummus and developing strong opinions about the housing market. But really, I'd rather just order a Newcastle and talk about TV.

8. I'm starting to think I picked the wrong major for someone who wants to be well-compensated for their talents.

9. Fried rice, orange chicken, and a chicken egg roll. Almost every time.

10. I hate cars. They're just these big damn worthless things that break constantly, and you have to take it everywhere you go. I just want to get from here to there.

Comments: 4

Kevin Longrie

Number 9 is about Panda Express, and is my exact order.

I also identify with 1, 3, 5, 6, 8, and 10.

Feb 23, 2008 4:40 AM

Josh

I like wine but newcastle is my favorite beer. I haven't been to a panda express in a long time, not since the days of the mall, but I could use some orange chicken. I like sesame and General's whatever too.

I can't bring myself to lie about movies I've seen but I will lie about what I liked and didn't like around people I don't really care for. I imagine my good friends though find me rather divisive.

I'm always right too! weird!

Feb 23, 2008 1:09 PM

TL

Hummus rules. Wine drools.

Feb 25, 2008 9:53 AM

Rob

Re: no.4, what if the King of Country does something akin to the Pat Boone rejuvenation, but instead of classic hard rock tunes, he goes nu metal?

I can just picture George now singing, "I did it all for the nookie, what? The nookie! What? So you can take that cookie..."

Feb 25, 2008 3:59 PM

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"The critic is the only independent source of information. The rest is advertising."
— Pauline Kael

"Film lovers are sick people."
— Francois Truffaut

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— Paul Giamatti, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 12/14/04

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