the photo

newyorkmug.jpg

the info

Dan Carlson
Los Angeles, California

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of certain TV shows — for starters, "The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "The Zeppo," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April Is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day," "An Echolls Family Christmas," "Look Who's Stalking," "The Garage Door," "Charlie Gets Crippled," "Wind Sprints," and "Corner Boys" — you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings, or at any rate a heartfelt attempt to interpret them. I guess I was made to be a film critic.

Calendar


October 2008
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31

Categories

The Counter

the world

Locations of visitors to this page

Search


the library

The Words

the shots

www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from dan_carlson. Make your own badge here.

the city

the politics

The Alumni

« January 2008 |Main| Physical Challenges Haven't Been This Much Fun Since Marc Summers' Heyday »

January 29, 2008

I Have Never Lied About My Willingness To Fight Dirty

By Dan Carlson

23

I took the quiz to find out how many 5-year-olds I could take in a fight governed by certain parameters (enclosed space, no weapons, the kids will fight until they die), and 23 seems about right. I'm tall and strong, but also overweight, and have had no martial arts training beyond what I inflicted on my sister in elementary school. Then again, I am also willing to fight dirty, which if you ask me is the only way to fight. A fight isn't a contest to score points for being skilled or honorable; if I was in genuine danger, I would kick an attacker in the nuts, rip off his ears, and go for the eyes. That's just the way it has to be. So of course I'm more than willing to pick up a kid and use him as a club-type weapon in a situation like this one, though after knocking down two dozen of these little buggers, I'd probably be spent.

Anyway, to take the quiz and get your total without being harassed to sign up for some spam-based dating site, click right here.

Comments: 3

Melanie Knox Larson

I got 13. Which seems like too many, since I could never imagine knocking a child unconscious.

Jan 29, 2008 6:53 PM

Brian

19 here

Jan 29, 2008 8:12 PM

Kevin Longrie

26

Jan 29, 2008 10:05 PM

Post a comment

the post

Questions? Comments? Complaints?

Drop 'em in the mailbag.

homefeed.png

The Lines

The Quotes

"The critic is the only independent source of information. The rest is advertising."
— Pauline Kael

"Film lovers are sick people."
— Francois Truffaut

"I hope I strike a blow for chubby bald men everywhere. I hope they rise like an army."
— Paul Giamatti, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 12/14/04

"Let others praise ancient times, I am glad I was born in these."
— Ovid

Current Reading

In Rotation















the humor

the screens

the tube

the sounds

The Plugs

Recent Posts

Subscribe to this blog's feed
[What is this?]

Archives

Powered by
Movable Type 3.33

the wisdom

Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.
— Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
— John Stuart Mill

We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our life we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget.
— G.K. Chesterton

We were, for the briefest of moments, something greater than the sum of our uncertain parts; we were youth itself, in all its painful glory and sharp joy.
— Me, Fall 2003

There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable, when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there's a time when things can go either way.
— Stephen King

Los Angeles, give me some of you! Los Angeles come to me the way I came to you, my feet over your streets, you pretty town I loved you so much, you sad flower in the sand, you pretty town.
— Ask the Dust, John Fante