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Dan Carlson
Houston, Texas

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of certain TV shows — for starters, "The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "The Zeppo," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April Is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day," "An Echolls Family Christmas," "Look Who's Stalking," "The Garage Door," "Charlie Gets Crippled," "Wind Sprints," and "Corner Boys" — you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings, or at any rate a heartfelt attempt to interpret them. I guess I was made to be a film critic.

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December 30, 2007

Special Topics in Calamity Physics: A Chronological Book Review

By Dan Carlson

interesting
mysterious
maybe a little pretentious
intelligent
slower
slower
slow
she should've hired a more aggressive editor
slow
slow
boring
damn it what's with the similes
quicker now
intriguing
better
really good
really good
well done
back to slow
still a little slow
okay, back to good
finally good, just took an inexcusably long time to get there

Comments: 14

This actually sums up my experience of reading this book to an absolutely perfect degree. My impression over all was that it was good, but it did leave me with fingers that were itching for a red marker pen.

Haven't read the book, but I particularly like this line from your post:

"she should've hired a more aggressive editor"

VampireNomad

HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!

Aahhhhhhh.

Yes.

/wipes away tears of merriment/

I haven't read the book but man, this was the best book review I've ever read!

Chris

When the mystery resolved itself I felt very very cheated.

*spoiler alert*

The main character just sits there and reads a bunch of shit and goes "A-ha!" and poof mystery is over. That was so unsatisfying for all the slogging one had to do to get through the interminably slow parts.

Another point of contention was the handling of the group of friends. They were a huge facet of the book for about 2/3rds and then unceremoniously dumped.

Yet another was the smug satisfaction that Blue got about being smarter and having a great relationship with her father.

That all said, I still enjoyed the book but I'm glad I picked it up when it was really discounted.

I just finished reading this book two nights ago. I'm glad to see I wasn't the only person still yet to read it. I was frustrated at the fact that the back of the book cover mentions that Hannah dies, but that the book took -- what? -- 300 pages to get to that point? The similes I could deal with. Though abundant, many were well-put. However, what irked me most was how flamingly unlikable everybody but Blue was. The Bluebloods in particular. Christ, I would have offed Hannah earlier on just to get them to stop talking to me earlier. One more small problem: the abundant color words. Blue, the Bluebloods, Milton Black, and Jade Whitestone. "Whitestone"? What the hell is that?

Your to-the-point review = total opposite of the book, though in the end I enjoyed both.

I read this just as I started reading the book, and thought 'Aw nuts, it's slow in parts' because I love a crazy-long book that's all good, all the time (see: Chabon, Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay). In the end, your bullet-point review was bang on. Some of her metaphors were so beautiful, but there were SO friggin many.

Muchas kudos.

Yeah, that was pretty much it.

i kind of disagree with all Chris's complaints.

parisianpurple

Should have hired a more aggressive editor indeed.

Small aside: this book was sold at auction with the express stipulation that it NOT be edited AT ALL. So it wasn't. For reals, no lie.

Deano

I only got to boring and couldn't stand anymore. Maybe I'll have to pick it up again.

avaitoTop

Hello
Nice site!

Bye

Hi!
My name is Jessika!

Fleeldrab

I'm the only one in this world. Can please someone join me in this life? Or maybe death...

DrEurope

Hi, my name is Shanti Sherna from Ukraina. I'm 27 y.
I just love to read this forum articles & topics discussed here.

regards
Shanti,

poolledia

Yo, Awsome Site i should be able to help on here.
Thanks.

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"The critic is the only independent source of information. The rest is advertising."
— Pauline Kael

"Film lovers are sick people."
— Francois Truffaut

"I hope I strike a blow for chubby bald men everywhere. I hope they rise like an army."
Paul Giamatti, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 12/14/04

"Let others praise ancient times, I am glad I was born in these."
— Ovid

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Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.
— Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
— John Stuart Mill

We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our life we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget.
— G.K. Chesterton

We were, for the briefest of moments, something greater than the sum of our uncertain parts; we were youth itself, in all its painful glory and sharp joy.
— Me, Fall 2003

There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable, when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there's a time when things can go either way.
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Ask the Dust, John Fante