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Dan Carlson
Houston, Texas

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of certain TV shows — for starters, "The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "The Zeppo," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April Is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day," "An Echolls Family Christmas," "Look Who's Stalking," "The Garage Door," "Charlie Gets Crippled," "Wind Sprints," and "Corner Boys" — you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings, or at any rate a heartfelt attempt to interpret them. I guess I was made to be a film critic.

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« Don't My Baby Look The Sweetest |Main| Review: Michael Clayton »

October 9, 2007

Seriously, Stop

By Dan Carlson

I will kick in the solar plexus the next person who says "dudette" unironically. I realize this means I will probably be delivering my vengeance unto an adult, and a member of a generation currently stranded between the cultural relevance of their children and the deification of their parents.

But please, for the love of all that is good, stop saying "dudette." You sound old, and weird, and just generally creepy and out of touch.

Please stop.

Comments: 7

Christopher Ramirez

I s "dude" still ok?

Oct 9, 2007 9:03 PM

Dan

Yeah, I say "dude" all the time. The grievance I'm airing here is with those unsettling people who say things like "All you dudes and dudettes" as if it's (a) normal or (b) a way to sound hip and playfully at ease with their audience. And it's not. It's just weird.

Oct 9, 2007 11:33 PM

Kevin Longrie

*feverishly writes blog about how you're anti-feminism

Oct 10, 2007 2:50 AM

Brian

Duuuuuuuuuude [cough, cough]

Oct 10, 2007 6:21 AM

Clevegal42

My mom still says "dudette" when I call her "dude" - but she IS old, weird and semi-out-of-touch. What are your feelings on that?

Oct 10, 2007 6:08 PM

jvon

No way, your mom is totally hot. And tell her to call me.

Oct 10, 2007 8:52 PM

Piato

You’re going to be assaulting lot of Christian Camp counselors. So thanks in advance.

Oct 10, 2007 8:53 PM

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"The critic is the only independent source of information. The rest is advertising."
— Pauline Kael

"Film lovers are sick people."
— Francois Truffaut

"I hope I strike a blow for chubby bald men everywhere. I hope they rise like an army."
— Paul Giamatti, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 12/14/04

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Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.
— Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
— John Stuart Mill

We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our life we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget.
— G.K. Chesterton

We were, for the briefest of moments, something greater than the sum of our uncertain parts; we were youth itself, in all its painful glory and sharp joy.
— Me, Fall 2003

There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable, when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there's a time when things can go either way.
— Stephen King

Los Angeles, give me some of you! Los Angeles come to me the way I came to you, my feet over your streets, you pretty town I loved you so much, you sad flower in the sand, you pretty town.
— Ask the Dust, John Fante