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Dan Carlson
Los Angeles, California

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of certain TV shows — for starters, "The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "The Zeppo," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April Is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day," "An Echolls Family Christmas," "Look Who's Stalking," "The Garage Door," "Charlie Gets Crippled," "Wind Sprints," and "Corner Boys" — you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings, or at any rate a heartfelt attempt to interpret them. I guess I was made to be a film critic.

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October 21, 2007

In Which Drew Hits Another One Out Of The Park

By Dan Carlson

toothpaste for dinner
toothpastefordinner.com

Comments: 7

miranda

wow its just like me, but with reversed gender.

Oct 21, 2007 2:00 PM

Kevin Longrie

Wow, miranda's just like me, but with reversed gender.

Oct 21, 2007 7:47 PM

ryan English

wow, that's just lke me

except from a few eyars ago, before I got marreid

Oct 21, 2007 8:39 PM

Lauren

Hey, I love nerds. I can't help it. I'm sure some of that can be attributed to my hidden (though not very well) nerdiness of my own. But, rest assured... there are many girls out there just like me who have a soft spot for men that have played RPGs or that know all of the lines from "The Trouble With Tribbles" (good God would that be hot!).

Oct 22, 2007 10:30 AM

Rob

Is this a reference to the J.D. Drew HR that basically came out of nowhere in game 5?

Oh shoot, wrong forum.

Oct 22, 2007 10:32 AM

Constance

Hmm...I don't wear glasses but I am pretty tall and pessimistic. Ok, it's settled - I relate to the detailed stick figure on the right.

Oct 22, 2007 11:17 AM

A Bowl of Stupid

Yeah, that's funny.

Not really a 'ha-ha' kinda funny. More like a 'disturbingly accurate, poignant and sad' kinda funny.

Ha.

Oct 25, 2007 7:46 AM

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"The critic is the only independent source of information. The rest is advertising."
— Pauline Kael

"Film lovers are sick people."
— Francois Truffaut

"I hope I strike a blow for chubby bald men everywhere. I hope they rise like an army."
— Paul Giamatti, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 12/14/04

"Let others praise ancient times, I am glad I was born in these."
— Ovid

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Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.
— Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
— John Stuart Mill

We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our life we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget.
— G.K. Chesterton

We were, for the briefest of moments, something greater than the sum of our uncertain parts; we were youth itself, in all its painful glory and sharp joy.
— Me, Fall 2003

There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable, when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there's a time when things can go either way.
— Stephen King

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— Ask the Dust, John Fante