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Dan Carlson
Los Angeles, California

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. I try not to think too hard about how I want to build my life around talking about other people's creations and not mine. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of a few TV shows ("The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "The Zeppo," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day," "An Echolls Family Christmas," and "Look Who's Stalking," for starters), you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings. I guess I was made to be a film critic.

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« Interview: Derek Haas And Michael Brandt |Main| The Dangers Of Wealth: An Online Transcript »

September 24, 2007

Pain Relief And Feeling Pretty: An Online Transcript

By Dan Carlson

me: i have a headache
i went and got ibuprofen from the first aid kit
i thought about getting cramp tabs just to see if that would help
Sis: it would
cramp tabs?
wow
they have ibuprofen in them
me: hmm
and they make me feel like a confident woman again
so, bonus
Sis: this is what i'm saying

Comments: 2

gunter

please stay away from the Aleve - Bad dreamweavers, just take my word for it

Sep 25, 2007 9:15 AM

her first double penetration

Hallo! Es hat sich doch gezeigt, dass die 301 Umleitung einer minus-31 Domain nichts bringt weil die Seite auf die umgeleitet wird auch auf Platz 31 landet. Wenn nun jemand seine -31 Domain auf meine Domain umleiten wurde um mich als Konkurrenten zu argern, gabe es fur mich keine Moglichkeit diese Manipulation herauszufinden. Ich wurde ratseln was ich falsch gemacht hatte und dabei ist es nur ein Trick der Konkurrenz. Edit: Ich habe die Frage vergessen! Gibt es doch eine Moglichkeit herauszufinden ob jemand seine Domain auf meine umgeleitet hat?

Jan 14, 2008 2:43 AM

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"The critic is the only independent source of information. The rest is advertising."
— Pauline Kael

"Film lovers are sick people."
— Francois Truffaut

"I hope I strike a blow for chubby bald men everywhere. I hope they rise like an army."
— Paul Giamatti, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 12/14/04

"Let others praise ancient times, I am glad I was born in these."
— Ovid

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the wisdom

Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.
— Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
— John Stuart Mill

We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our life we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget.
— G.K. Chesterton

We were, for the briefest of moments, something greater than the sum of our uncertain parts; we were youth itself, in all its painful glory and sharp joy.
— Me, Fall 2003

There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable, when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there's a time when things can go either way.
— Stephen King

Los Angeles, give me some of you! Los Angeles come to me the way I came to you, my feet over your streets, you pretty town I loved you so much, you sad flower in the sand, you pretty town.
— Ask the Dust, John Fante