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Dan Carlson
Los Angeles, California

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of certain TV shows — for starters, "The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "The Zeppo," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April Is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day," "An Echolls Family Christmas," "Look Who's Stalking," "The Garage Door," "Charlie Gets Crippled," "Wind Sprints," and "Corner Boys" — you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings, or at any rate a heartfelt attempt to interpret them. I guess I was made to be a film critic.

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« Review: Across the Universe |Main| Mix It Up — 5 »

September 16, 2007

Conversations I Have Had With My Roommate While Channel-Surfing

By Dan Carlson

Upon Seeing A Terrible Artist Named Peaches Perform On "The Henry Rollins Show"
Roommate: "If you just described this to me, without me seeing it, I would say you were lying."

Upon Seeing A Terrible Music Video For "Act Naturally" With Ringo Starr On Some High-Number Video Channel
Me: "This is horrible. This used to be a good song, but this video is kidnapping that song and taking it out in the woods and tying it to a tree and just raping the hell out of it and crapping on it."
Roommate: [Agreeing]"It's kinda bad."
Me: "And then you take the corpse and hollow out the chest cavity with spoons and just fill that with the crap."
Roommate: "Wow."

Comments: 4

ryan English

glad I'm not the only one tht oyu talk to like that

Sep 16, 2007 5:47 PM

Kevin Longrie

Crap and baby skulls, sir. Crap and baby skulls.

Sep 16, 2007 10:41 PM

gunter

you're a marshmallow veronica mars.

Sep 17, 2007 11:06 AM

Joey

I like Peaches you son of a bitch.

Sep 18, 2007 6:12 PM

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Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

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