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Dan Carlson
Houston, Texas

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of certain TV shows — for starters, "The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "The Zeppo," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April Is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day," "An Echolls Family Christmas," "Look Who's Stalking," "The Garage Door," "Charlie Gets Crippled," "Wind Sprints," and "Corner Boys" — you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings, or at any rate a heartfelt attempt to interpret them. I guess I was made to be a film critic.

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« Review: Rescue Dawn |Main| Probably My New All-Time Favorite Church Quote »

July 8, 2007

Phrases I Have Googled Recently

By Dan Carlson

transformers

transformers boxoffice

transformers boxoffice records

transformers are they real

robots and humans interacting

impending robot war

how to survive a possible robot war

how to befriend and possibly train a robot

things to feed a robot

seriously do women care about the whole bald thing

macarthur high school

macarthur alumni who have gone downhill

macarthur alumni i am more successful than

securing your apartment against robot attacks

normal people who read comic books

recipes using leftover steak

how to build your own robot for defense

flip-flops

apocrypha about the kessel run

constructing a robot from old kia parts

can a robot develop consciousness

can a robot build you a lightsaber

what to do when your robot eventually decides to kill you

Comments: 6

ryan English

one of my favorte yet disapointing googles of late is "Pies in Dallas"

Jul 8, 2007 9:56 AM

Susan

"can a robot build you a lightsaber"

I think I'm in love with you. Wait... I'm in love with you if the answer was yes. And if you actually found out how to build a robot. Clearly, I should be googling more things.

Jul 9, 2007 12:25 AM

seriously? girls don't really care about the whole bald thing. it's sexy.

Jul 9, 2007 6:45 AM

Bianca Reagan

My friend thinks bald guys are hot. However she moved away from LA a few weeks ago. Oh well. I'm sure you can find another like her.

I'm giggling to myself about most of your Google searches. You are too cute. I especially like the ones about the alumni you're better than. That is the express purpose of Facebook for me.

Susan, I'm reading your blog now. Pretty cool!

Jul 9, 2007 4:55 PM

Manny

Something else you might want to Google:

Robo-holics Anonymous

Jul 10, 2007 4:54 PM

Sleepless Mama

Yes, women DO care about the bald thing. I LOVE bald headed men. Michael Jordan and Patrick Stewart would be way less sexy if they had hair. My husband gets way less naughty bad fun when he lets his hair get too long.

What did that coffee mug say? Bald men don't waste their hormones growing hair? Sounds about right to me. Bring on the scalp, baby!

Jul 11, 2007 5:19 PM

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"The critic is the only independent source of information. The rest is advertising."
— Pauline Kael

"Film lovers are sick people."
— Francois Truffaut

"I hope I strike a blow for chubby bald men everywhere. I hope they rise like an army."
— Paul Giamatti, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 12/14/04

"Let others praise ancient times, I am glad I was born in these."
— Ovid

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Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.
— Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
— John Stuart Mill

We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our life we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget.
— G.K. Chesterton

We were, for the briefest of moments, something greater than the sum of our uncertain parts; we were youth itself, in all its painful glory and sharp joy.
— Me, Fall 2003

There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable, when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there's a time when things can go either way.
— Stephen King

Los Angeles, give me some of you! Los Angeles come to me the way I came to you, my feet over your streets, you pretty town I loved you so much, you sad flower in the sand, you pretty town.
— Ask the Dust, John Fante