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Dan Carlson
Los Angeles, California

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of certain TV shows — for starters, "The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "The Zeppo," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April Is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day," "An Echolls Family Christmas," "Look Who's Stalking," "The Garage Door," "Charlie Gets Crippled," "Wind Sprints," and "Corner Boys" — you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings, or at any rate a heartfelt attempt to interpret them. I guess I was made to be a film critic.

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July 11, 2007

More Quizzes; It Beats Working

By Dan Carlson

100%The Movie Quiz

That's right.

Again: That's right.

58%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

This seems a little arbitrary, but then, there's some truth to it.

Free Online Dating

This was actually surprising. Apparently I used "hell" four times (believable), "shit" three times (less so, but there's one more mention), "porn" twice (seems low), and "ecstasy" once (I can't believe I'm being penalized because the quiz can't differentiate between the drug and the feeling).

60% Geek

Also not that surprising. I know some geek stuff, but let's face it, I also call tech support. Sometimes you just get tired of printer maintenance. Though I am happy that I finally get points for knowing who Smaug is.

45%

I can't run very far, but then again, I've never had the kind of adrenaline pumping through me that I imagine a zombie invasion would produce. Still, I think my lack of physical prowess is balanced my ability to find a hiding place and look for weapons, as well as my willingness to kill my friends if they became zombies.

Comments: 10

Nice work on the spelling and movie trivia, but I think the blog rating quiz is a little suspect. I only just started my blog and there are 2 'bitch'es and a 'shit', and the quiz only found one 'bitch'.

Therefore, I'm rated "G".

Mother******!

Kevin Longrie

I scored the same on the movie and spelling, but higher on the zombie survival. You must prepare yourself, sir.

If there's ever a zombie apocalypse you should come hang with me. 60% chance of survival ;)

Erik

Apparently, living near my family is a significant hazard to me in the face of zombie uprising.

Otherwise, I'm fit, relavitely coldhearted and proficient with weapons...why do I score in the 30's?

I guess I need to pick up more ramen and SPAM.

Erin

So, basically I will only survive a zombie apocolypse if they stop to ask me movie trivia before eating my brains.

Damnit! 80%on the movie quiz. And, correct me if 'm wrong, but in Predator Jesse Ventura does NOT have time to bleed. The question asks you what DOES he have time to do.

Just sayin'.

Actually, the question reads:

"What doesn't former governor Jesse 'The Body' Ventura have time to do in the movie Predator?"

Worded a little awkwardly, but still, it asks what he doesn't have time to do.

Sarah

I only have a 27 percent chance of survival. Crap! I am 71 percent addicted to blogging, so at least I can blog about the apocalypse before the zombies find me.

Jennifer

I wish there was some sort of sport featuring spelling that people would play at parties instead of volleyball. Or maybe a drinking game. Or just something at which I could kick ass ( besides writing ) in which my overall spelling BAMF-ness would serve me well.

Jennifer

Ego check: that was not to say that I kick ass at writing, in case that was unclear.

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The Lines

The Quotes

"The critic is the only independent source of information. The rest is advertising."
— Pauline Kael

"Film lovers are sick people."
— Francois Truffaut

"I hope I strike a blow for chubby bald men everywhere. I hope they rise like an army."
Paul Giamatti, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 12/14/04

"Let others praise ancient times, I am glad I was born in these."
— Ovid

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the wisdom

Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.
— Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
— John Stuart Mill

We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our life we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget.
— G.K. Chesterton

We were, for the briefest of moments, something greater than the sum of our uncertain parts; we were youth itself, in all its painful glory and sharp joy.
— Me, Fall 2003

There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable, when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there's a time when things can go either way.
— Stephen King

Los Angeles, give me some of you! Los Angeles come to me the way I came to you, my feet over your streets, you pretty town I loved you so much, you sad flower in the sand, you pretty town.
Ask the Dust, John Fante