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Dan Carlson
Los Angeles, California

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of certain TV shows — for starters, "The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "The Zeppo," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April Is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day," "An Echolls Family Christmas," "Look Who's Stalking," "The Garage Door," "Charlie Gets Crippled," "Wind Sprints," and "Corner Boys" — you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings, or at any rate a heartfelt attempt to interpret them. I guess I was made to be a film critic.

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« Your Questions Answered |Main| Just A Piece Of Pecan Pie, And All I Want Is You »

May 20, 2007

Word Has It I Could Be A Bear

By Dan Carlson

me: so, there's a pretty decent shot i'm going to a gay bar with jeremy next weekend, and i'm looking forward to it
it'll be a story, that's for sure
Sis: pajiba jeremy?
me: yeah
Sis: what do straight people do in gay bars? will they be able to tell you're straight right away?
me: i'm pretty sure they just drink
i'll be at a bar, knowing i won't get laid. it'll be a lot like when i'm at a straight bar

Comments: 6

ryan English

if you're lucky, maybe you coul dbe someone's bit....never mind

May 20, 2007 4:15 PM

Kevin Longrie

Alyssa from last night alyssa?

May 20, 2007 4:24 PM

Spender

Well... when we lived in Abilene, my wife and I loved hanging out at the 220 Club. It's owned by 5 women and as it was a gay/lesbian bar we didn't have to deal with rednecks, the dance music was great and the beers were always ice cold. I'll have to blog about "Jello Shot Pyramids" someday.

Your Sis oughta check it out! I mean, I'm not implying that she's gay... or, if she is, not that there's anything wrong with that... errrmmm...

(I could USE a Jello Shot right about now.)

May 20, 2007 8:28 PM

Sarah

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but um, no ...

May 20, 2007 9:34 PM

Spender

Heheheh... Hey, Sarah!
You actually should check out 220... good people and usually a lot of fun.

May 21, 2007 2:17 PM

Bianca Reagan

You could totally be a bear! But in a good way. Like in this clip from Logo's Big Gay Sketch Show. You're cuter than that guy, though. And I hope you didn't wear the overalls.

May 26, 2007 6:19 PM

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"The critic is the only independent source of information. The rest is advertising."
— Pauline Kael

"Film lovers are sick people."
— Francois Truffaut

"I hope I strike a blow for chubby bald men everywhere. I hope they rise like an army."
— Paul Giamatti, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 12/14/04

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Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again.
— Look Homeward, Angel, Thomas Wolfe

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
— John Stuart Mill

We are all under the same mental calamity; we have all forgotten our names. We have all forgotten what we really are. All that we call common sense and rationality and practicality and positivism only means that for certain dead levels of our life we forget that we have forgotten. All that we call spirit and art and ecstasy only means that for one awful instant we remember that we forget.
— G.K. Chesterton

We were, for the briefest of moments, something greater than the sum of our uncertain parts; we were youth itself, in all its painful glory and sharp joy.
— Me, Fall 2003

There is a time in the lives of most writers when they are vulnerable, when the vivid dreams and ambitions of childhood seem to pale in the harsh sunlight of what we call the real world. In short, there's a time when things can go either way.
— Stephen King

Los Angeles, give me some of you! Los Angeles come to me the way I came to you, my feet over your streets, you pretty town I loved you so much, you sad flower in the sand, you pretty town.
— Ask the Dust, John Fante