Top 5 Ways "Lost" Should End
5. The Castaways dominate the Others, only to turn on themselves a la Lord of the Flies. Sawyer kills Jack and takes Kate as his bride, but their inability to conceive drives them to despair, especially since Sawyer also killed Juliet (he had issues). Everyone eventually kills each other. Hurley feeds people for two weeks. Cut to black. Roll credits. Series ends.
4. A ship comes to the island one day, and the Castaways excitedly gather on the beach and thank their respective deities for the rescue, only to realize that the ship's crew is comprised entirely of damn dirty apes. They blew it up! Those maniacs! Damn them all to hell! Cut to black. Roll credits. Series ends.
3. Never one to shy away from introducing new characters from the nameless mass of extras who were in the crash, the showrunners cave to pressure and introduce an adorable set of 8-year-old twins in the fourth season who get into life-threatening situations each week but always learn a valuable moral lesson. Everyone lives happily ever after, but at this point, no one cares.
2. I don't know, the island explodes. Black, credits, etc.
1. There's some kind of apocalyptic battle between the Castaways, the Others, and the remnants of Dharma, and it ends with either another giant purple explosion or something else not yet revealed (e.g., somebody dicks around with the magic box that makes Locke's dad and the Staypuft Marshmallow Man appear whenever you want). Anyway, there are a lot of rapid edits and things happening off screen, and then everyone just kind of disappears. They're not there anymore. It's not like they vanish right in front of us; it's more of an in-the-corners kind of thing. Fade to 50 years later, some exploratory rig charting new shipping lanes comes across the island and discovers the scattered remnants of the brief society that's since vanished. They all scratch their heads and wonder aloud, "What happened here?" Cut to black. Roll credits. Series ends.
Comments: 7
They combine their collective Polynesian, Celtic, Latin, and Hebrew cultures and start a new society on the island where they drink a whole lot of "Jump Cola". When the island is in danger of sinking some guy name Joe is sent to jump into the volcano to satisfy the gods. Joe is last seen shooting across night sky after being spewed from the volcano and the island sinks...fade to black, series ends, rejoice.
8. The Castaways kill off the others and decided to take up residence on the island. Then, once they're all situated, they sit around discussing the finer points of a novel. They hear a noise. They look up in the sky. Another plane falls. Jack gives quick orders for Sawyer to blend in, look like one of them and for Jin and Sun to check and see if there were any survivors in the tail.
9. Jack is revealed as the final Cylon.
I'm not sure exactly how Lost should end, but I'm certain it has to involve Ricardo Montelban and Herve Villachez somehow.
Jack wakes up next to Bob Newhart?
Dinosaurs. There should be dinosaurs.
It turns out they've all been auditioning for a reality tv program, and didn't know it.
6. Tye and the crew from Extreme Home Makeover float onto the island and build a treehouse for everyone. With hammock beds.
Apr 24, 2007 9:08 AM