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Dan Carlson
Los Angeles, California

I'm a twentysomething white male with ambitions to be a professional film critic and generally spend my days getting paid to watch movies and write about it. A compulsive reader and stubborn cineaste, I take an often contrary stance to my more fundamentalist peers and upbringing by celebrating the pursuit of the good, and the Good, in life, love, art and film. If you watched enough episodes of certain TV shows — for starters, "The Hungry and the Hunted," "The Cut Man Cometh," "The Body," "The Zeppo," "Waiting in the Wings," "Out of Gas," "April Is the Cruelest Month," "20 Hours in America," "Colonial Day," "An Echolls Family Christmas," "Look Who's Stalking," "The Garage Door," "Charlie Gets Crippled," "Wind Sprints," and "Corner Boys" — you would understand me completely, and you'd also realize that much of my worldview and philosophical insights are heavily influenced by fictional works/programs, and many of the good things I've said in my life are just a regurgitation of someone else's imaginings, or at any rate a heartfelt attempt to interpret them. I guess I was made to be a film critic.

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« Phrases That Apparently Aren't Dirty But Still Sound Somehow Horribly Wrong |Main| Pure, Dumb, Grinning Adrenaline »

April 13, 2007

Review: Perfect Stranger

By Dan Carlson

1.) I was so bored that I could only pass the time by wondering if Halle Berry would get naked. Not that she hasn't been naked before, and not like I needed her to be naked to enjoy the movie. No, it was just so dull and annoying that the only way to kill the hours was to wonder if there'd be any skin. You know how Harold and Kumar suffer through The Gift just to see Katie Holmes topless? Like that.

2.) I also kept hoping Balki would show up. That would've helped. Speaking of:


Anyway, here's the review: Clickety-click.

Comments: 4

Mimi

Actually, it was Goldstein and Rosenberg who sit through The Gift just to see Katie Holmes topless.

Apr 13, 2007 6:13 PM

Daniel Carlson

Crap, you're right.

Apr 13, 2007 7:18 PM

Josh

Yeah they said it was like the opposite of the holocaust.

Apr 14, 2007 9:07 AM

Rozie

So... I just IMDB'd Bronson Pinchot. Because I wanted to know. Now I know.

Apr 15, 2007 1:07 PM

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Remembering speechlessly we seek the great forgotten language, the lost lane-end into heaven, a stone, a leaf, an unfound door. Where? When?

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