The Democrats' (Not So) Secret Plans To Undermine America: The Horror ... The Horror
Now that those God-hating homos from the Wrong Coast seem to have made in-roads into the sanctum sanctorum (sorry, Rick) of the Capitol, it's only a matter of time before the nation falls apart. Word on the street here in sunny Southern California confirms our worst fears will be realized; appearing at a local Trader Joe's, an inebriated Nancy Pelosi stood atop the express lane checkout and announced some of the forthcoming Democrat-supported measures that will be instituted across the country:
• Mandatory abortions for women upon their 18th birthday just to "get them into the swing of things."
• Snack machines in elementary schools to be replaced with condom machines.
• Osama bin Laden to be appointed Secretary of Raping White Women.
• Full apologies to and amnesty for Saddam Hussein, who will be reinstated as ruler of Iraq and also given control of the Carolinas.
• The resurrection of Hussein's sons through the use of cloning technology and stem-cell harvesting from the mentally retarded, who probably won't put up much of a fight.
• Water fountains to be replaced with really snooty-looking coffee stands.
• Forced sodomizing of public officials and citizens who speak out against gay marriage.
• Bibles to be banned; punishment for owning one to include being punched in the balls by atheists.
• Deportation of Southerners to work in Mexican sweatshops.
• French and Farsi to be instituted as dual national languages.
That's as far as she got before gorging herself on mini peanut butter cups and passing out.
We're in for dark times indeed, friends. Dark times indeed.
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