Stupid Red Shirts
I worked as a Target cashier one summer, and was the only white male within like 50 miles of that building. My coworkers were a few older women who were rapidly approaching senility and some younger women who, though nice, were prone to ghetto bangs and that weird thing where they used really dark lipliner and light lipstick, making it seem as if they'd just polished off a giant Hershey bar.
I would often vent about my crappy Target job to my coworkers at my crappy movie theater job (being an usher absolutely blows, and that was a horrible summer for free tickets, too). I was tempted to show up on the first day at Target and pretend to be deaf or something, just so no one would talk to me. My friend Mac suggested that I feign some kind of mental handicap, and when processing transactions, pocket all the cash and hand the customer back a wad of green construction paper with "MUNNY" written on it as I gleefully announced, "Here's your money!"
I'll always wish I'd done it.
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