Slowly Going Bald

The mind reels.

Thoughts:

• This was undoubtedly brought on by the rise of pseudo-performers like the uber-creepy David Blaine, who at first seemed to have struck a deal with Satan himself to perform some pretty wicked sleight of hand but who has since devolved into a non-magician, e.g., standing on a pole or hiding underground and refusing to escape. I mean, the guy makes it a specific point not to escape or do anything dazzling; it's basically found magic. So the increasing popularity of found magic must have been what pushed Copperfield into the sad little stunt captured in this video.

• Carson Daly is a truly terrifying human being.

• I know that fire is hot and all, but Daly says that they're pumping cold air into the chamber, which is how Copperfield is able to do the trick. He's telling us how the trick is done. True, it's not much of a trick, but still, it totally kills the mystery, and Daly says it with the same dull-eyed cheer he used back in the day on "TRL." Moron.

• This had to have been brought on not just by Copperfield's waning popularity in the face of Blaine the Dark Prince but also the fact that Copperfield's personal life turned into a festering craphole. He was engaged to Claudia Schiffer for a while, though she left him in 1999, and I'm inclined to believe the speculation that he was paying her because it's never a good idea to box above your weight class, and that was one freakishly mismatched pair. Then again, Ric Ocasek has managed to maintain a hold on Paulina Porizkova, and that guy makes Copperfield look like a Fight Club-era Brad Pitt, so maybe Schiffer was one of those women who just really wanted money and didn't care about looks or C-level celebrity status. But the fact that she dumped him must have left Copperfield reeling, since having a supermodel break up with you on the national stage can do some substantial damage to a man's ego, even/especially if that man is a weird little magician. So it's almost like Copperfield had nothing left to live for by the time this aired in 2001, and given the rote way in which he preps for and performs this stunt, you get the idea that he wouldn't be too upset if the Tornado of Fire got out of control and ended his sad existence.

• Tornado of Fire must be capitalized. The nature of the term demands it. This is concrete.

• How is a flightsuit supposed to withstand the Tornado of Fire? Why wear a one-piece cotton jumper and jump into a flaming vortex of certain doom? You might as well douse yourself in kerosene, Dave.

• "That is one hot fire." Direct quote from Daly.

• Copperfield kind of looks like Bob Saget's handsome cousin.

• Daly tells the audience this isn't a fake tornado, but that it's been specifically engineered to be real. And the earnestness with which he says this self-contradictory statement almost makes me want to believe him.

• Do the assistants really need to be dressed as henchmen from Moonraker?

• Copperfield lasts all of four seconds in this thing before shutting it off and collapsing. His final words: "Aaaah! It's HOT!" I don't know what to say.

• Daly: "I have one word: Unbelievable." This guy could run for office.

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