Bestow Thy Flickering Light
Just when I thought I was running out reasons to love cable, it gives me My Best Friend Is a Vampire, a spectacularly crappy movie from 1988 about a high schooler who's turned into a vampire by an older woman. The young vampire in question is Robert Sean Leonard, only 19 years old and still a year or so away from overacting his heart out in the solid but overrated Dead Poets' Society. The scientist chasing him? David Warner, the go-to Brit for B-movies since the dawn of time. Robert Sean Leonard can still go out in the sun and everything; all he has to do is buy sunglasses, so he seems to have gotten an okay deal. The friendly older vampire who shows young Rob the ropes? Rene Auberjonois, the extremely poor man's Jean Reno. And Warner's sidekick? None other than one of the Bobs. Plus, it takes place in Houston, which is such a random place to set a movie, let alone a crappy '80s horror spoof.
It aired back-to-back with Real Genius. I almost called in sick.
"I know we promised you soccer highlights, so let me just tell you that Columbus beat Miami one-nothing, Dallas beat San Jose one-nothing, Chicago beat Colorado one-nothing, and New England beat Kansas City 2-1 in an offensive slugfest. A modest proposal: Make the nets bigger."
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