Stupid Things I Said To
Stupid Things I Said To The Screener While Passing Through Airport SecurityDo you have any cough drops? The heroin balloon I swallowed is making my throat itch.I can speak Farsi.If I died today, I'd have no regrets.I probably don't look like the profile, do I?I've got a weird hair-dryer with a scope in my backpack. Don't let the X-ray spook you.I can conceal a switchblade in my sandals.I've been assigned the codename "Death Sword."Do you think you could catch me if I ran? I'm spry for a big guy.Things I Saw Over The WeekendImmigrants stumbling toward the highway before collapsing on the shoulder (2)Joints (2)Breasts (3)Trampled beer cans (10,000)Hours of reality TV (3)Wild, stray dogs (3)Drunk guys named Lags (?) telling me that I seem pretty cool (1)Hours of the glory that is Spanish TV (3)Drunk guys playing frisbee on a balcony (1)Fireworks merchants on the beach (1)Drunk guys on the ground catching the frisbee (1)A sign that said "Hay Queso" ("Here is cheese") (1)
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