Christian Apparel: For When You're Tired Of Being Nice To People And Want To Give Them The Impression That The Church Is Full Of Arrogant Jackasses
Step right up, get 'em while they're hot. If kindness and love aren't working, turn on the smug superiority. [I'm sure there's a verse about it somewhere, maybe toward the back.]Tired of having to reason with people? No worries! We've got your t-shirt comparing abortion rights with the Holocaust right here. Murderiffic!What's that you say? You'd like to frighten people into believing like you do? Then try this one on for size! Nothing counteracts compassion like a heaping helping of sulfur and brimstone!What's that, sir? You want something that shows your unequivocal support for unilateral invasions around the globe wherever our best interests or slightest whims may take us? Then you, sir, need to slip into this stunner and let the neighborhood know you won't be doing any thinking of your own any time soon!And finally, for when you want to just turn people completely away from the notion of a loving God: this always works.In conclusion, thank you for shopping at HZN, the Home Zealots Network. Feel free to contact us anytime via phone, fax, email or pipe-bomb. Haha, just kidding about that last one, folks! But seriously, you should only bomb the heathens and unbelievers who really deserve it, like single mothers and ethnic minorities.See you next week![Paid for (probably) by Pat Robertson and John Hagee.]
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